【原创】航空幽默与名言合集（超大翻译，填坑完毕）
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文章很长，就不作搬运了。里面的很多内容颇富哲理，也有一些有趣的类比和和高端黑。
谨与诸君共飨。
Beining：
1.量太大了。大家一起动手吧。
2.没看完ACI的人不一定全能懂翻译的NETA。去补吧。
3.没人要求，我就不一定按愿意翻了。
You can share your airplanes with your friends.
你可以和你的朋友分享驾驭乐趣。
If your airplane makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
如果你嫌飞机吵，可以戴耳塞。
If your airplane smokes, you can do something about it.
如果你的飞机冒烟（抽烟），你可以改变这一点。
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
飞机不介意你之前飞过多少飞机。
When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
当飞行时，你和你的飞机总能同时到达。
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplane's you have.
飞机不介意你有多少飞机。
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplane's, or if you buy airplane magazines.
飞机不介意你看其他飞机或看飞机杂质。
If your airplane is too loose, you can tighten it.
如果你的飞机太松，你能把她弄紧。
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your airplane.
你不必为那些在飞机上干活的机务感到嫉妒。
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your airplane.
你不需要牧师来注册飞行。
You don't have to convince your airplane that you're a pilot and that you think that all airplanes are equals.
你不需要向你的飞机说明你是一位飞行员并认为一切飞机生而平等...
If you say bad things to your airplane, you don't have to say your sorry before you can fly it again.
如果你对飞机做了什么不好的事情，你无须道歉便可继续飞。
You can fly an airplane as long as you want and it won't get sore.
你可以一直飞你的飞机，反正飞机不会疲惫。（只会没油）
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old airplane after you dump it.
你的父母不会与被你抛弃的飞机保持联络。
Airplanes always feel like going for a ride.
开飞机总是爽翻天。
Airplanes don't insult you if you are a bad pilot.
如果你技术差，飞机不会侮辱你。
It's always OK to use tie downs on your airplane.
开飞机的时候系安全带是完全正常的。
Your airplane never wants a night out alone with the other airplanes.
你的飞机晚上不会出去找其他飞机。
Airplanes don't care if you are late.
飞机不介意你迟到。
You don't have to take a shower before flying your airplane.
飞飞机前无须洗澡。
You can share your airplanes with your friends.
你可以和你的朋友分享驾驭乐趣。
If your airplane makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
如果你嫌飞机吵，可以戴耳塞。
If your airplane smokes, you can do something about it.
如果你的飞机冒烟（抽烟），你可以改变这一点。
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
飞机不介意你之前飞过多少飞机。
When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
当飞行时，你和你的飞机总能同时到达。
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplane's you have.
飞机不介意你有多少飞机。
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplane's, or if you buy airplane magazines.
飞机不介意你看其他飞机或看飞机杂质。
If your airplane is too loose, you can tighten it.
如果你的飞机太松，你能把她弄紧。
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your airplane.
你不必为那些在飞机上干活的机务感到嫉妒。
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your airplane.
你不需要牧师来注册飞行。
You don't have to convince your airplane that you're a pilot and that you think that all airplanes are equals.
你不需要向你的飞机说明你是一位飞行员并认为一切飞机生而平等...
If you say bad things to your airplane, you don't have to say your sorry before you can fly it again.
如果你对飞机做了什么不好的事情，你无须道歉便可继续飞。
You can fly an airplane as long as you want and it won't get sore.
你可以一直飞你的飞机，反正飞机不会疲惫。（只会没油）
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old airplane after you dump it.
你的父母不会与被你抛弃的飞机保持联络。
Airplanes always feel like going for a ride.
开飞机总是爽翻天。
Airplanes don't insult you if you are a bad pilot.
如果你技术差，飞机不会侮辱你。
It's always OK to use tie downs on your airplane.
开飞机的时候系安全带是完全正常的。
Your airplane never wants a night out alone with the other airplanes.
你的飞机晚上不会出去找其他飞机。
Airplanes don't care if you are late.
飞机不介意你迟到。
You don't have to take a shower before flying your airplane.
飞飞机前无须洗澡。
The Greatest Lies in Aviation
民航业几大谎言
I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
我是FAA的，我是来协助你的。
Me? I've never busted minimums.
我？我从来没逾越决断高。
We will be on time, maybe even early.
我会准时到达，没准还能早到。
Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
抱歉，女士，我把飞机钥匙丢了。
I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
我对为航空公司飞行不感兴趣。
I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
它首次出问题我就把它修好了，一定是别的什么地方出错了。
All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
降落失败全怪乱流。
I'm a member of the mile high club.
我是高空俱乐部的会员。
I only need glasses for reading.
我戴眼睛只是为了读书。
I broke out right at minimums.
我在决断高的时候果断复飞了
The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
天气会好起来的，我们将目视降落。
Don't worry about the weight and balance — it'll fly.
别担心重量和平衡，飞机会飞起来的。
If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
如果我们再下降一些肯定能看见跑道灯。
I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
我22，有6000小时时数，四年本科，3000小时驾驶李尔飞机的经验。
We shipped the part yesterday.
我们昨天已发出配件。
All you have to do is follow the book.
你只需要按这本手册上说的做。
This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
飞机的实际性能高过说明书20%。
We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
我们作为飞行员工资过高、工作清闲、受人尊敬。
Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
放心，没问题，我飞那飞机有2000小时了。
I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
我有5000小时的飞行时数，3200小时是真机仪表飞行的。
No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
不用看了，我都记住了。
Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn't it?
没问题，我能开那飞机，她有翅膀不就得了~
We'll be home by lunchtime.
我们午饭时间就能到家。
Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
我们的飞机2点抵达。
I'm always glad to see the FAA.
我看见FAA的人总是满心欢喜。
We fly every day — we don't need recurrent training.
我们每天都飞，不需要周期性训练。
It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
飞机刚年检完，能出什么毛病？
I thought YOU took care of that.
我认为你在负责那部分。
I've got the field in sight.
看见跑到了。
I've got the traffic in sight.
看见飞机了。
Of course I know where we are.
我当然知道我们在哪里。
I'm SURE the gear was down.
我确定起落架放下了。
Basic Flying
飞行入门
Try to stay in the middle of the air.
在空中飞
Do not go near the edges of it.
不要接近天空的边缘
The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
天空的边缘以地面、海洋、建筑、星际空间加以区分。最有一个尤难到达。
Food for Thought
头脑鸡汤
In days gone by, I’ve proved my worth
在曾经的日子里，我用作死证明了我的意义。
By zooming low across the earth.
低低地飞翔，亲吻大地，飞向天际。
I’ve buzzed the valleys and the mountain ridges,
飞跃峡谷，拂过山脊。
I’ve dove my craft beneath the bridges.
穿过桥堤，波光奕奕。
I’ve looped and spun and rolled my wings,
翻滚来去，尽展绝技。
I’ve sung the songs that pilots sing.
生命不止，歌舞不息。
I’ve tried most stunts, it must be said,
Yet never learnt to use my head.
不凭头脑，皆赖勇气。
So here’s a toast - To you and me!
暂凭杯酒，致我和你。
But you drink both, I’m dead...you see.
汝皆饮之，我灵汝祭。
Pilot Toast
飞行员祝酒词
The clouds may float across the sky,
天为罗盖地为毯，
The bee may kiss the butterfly,
山川美景伴我眠。
The sparkling wine may kiss the glass, and you my friend . . .
卮酒拥玉杯，
举杯酬知己。
Farewell.
愿君安好。
Here's to the wine,
致美酒，
Here's to the glass,
致玉盏，
Here's to the girl with the pretty . . .
Teeth.
致佳人——我们最美丽的嫂子~！
Bite into my wing and don't say anything but '2,' 'bingo,' and 'Lead, you're on fire.'
跟在我的侧面，除了“频道2、打中了、头，你飞机着火了”之外什么都别说。
— Briefing to a novice USAF wingman: stay close, acknowledge channel changes, tell me when you're out of gas and let me know if there is something wrong with my aircraft. Otherwise, shut up.
——给美国空军僚机飞行员的任务简报：跟紧，换频率前说一声，你没油或我着火时说出来，其他情况下闭嘴。
Son, your wife's legs have more time in the air than you do.
孩子，你妻子的腿的滞空时间要超过你吧。
— welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain.
——老机长欢迎新副驾
Son, I've got more time sitting on the lav in this airliner than you have total time.
孩子，我在这飞机厕所坐的时间超过你坐在上面的总时间。
— welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain.
——老机长欢迎新副驾之二
Also heard as "I've got more time in the flare . . . " and "I've got more time in the bunk . . ."
（如下）与“我在空中的时间比你多/我在铺上的时间比你久”同理。
Lieutenant, the missiles I've fired have more flight time than you do.
中尉，我打的导弹飞行时数都比你长。
— welcome to the squadron, nugget
——欢迎加入中队，新人
Throttle back son, you're not going to make the boat go any faster.
收油门，孩子。你开足马力也带不动航母。
— Air Bosses on aircraft carriers to flight students on initial carrier qualifications who stay at maximum power after they have been jerked to a stop by the arresting gear.
——航母地勤让新手飞行员在被拦阻索捕获后收油门
You've got to land here son, this is where the food is.
你得把她降下来，这里有吃的~！
— Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing.
——某航母降落信号官吿一位六度降落失败的飞行员
Tower, <a/c call sign>, three in the breeze, over the trees, last hop for a full stop.
塔台，我是四十四中队史中士！
— Phrase U.S. Navy student pilots in Pensacola could say on their last hop - if they said it without messing up they'd get an 'above' rating on radio comms.
——无线电通讯科目最终考核内容（绕口令）
I ran out of altitude, airspeed and ideas all at the same time.
我在同一时间用尽了高度，空速与想法
— When asked why he ejected. Attributed to Tony Lavier, Chuck Yeager, and just about every other well-known test pilot.
——很多伟大的试飞员在被问起为何弹射时的标准答案
@Beining 坑已填平，但如果想当个靠谱的作品还需要不少校对和排版工作。
恩。。。。加精了。
I'd rather be lucky than good.
# 比起(飛行技術)好，我寧願幸運點.
Bite into my wing and don't say anything but '2,' 'bingo,' and 'Lead, you're on fire.'
跟在我的側面，除了「頻道2、打中了、頭，你飛機著火了」之外什麼都別說。
應為：
# 跟在我的側面，除了「僚機報到、快沒油了、頭，你飛機著火了」之外什麼都別說。
## 這是煤軍軍事無線電用語梗, 長機對僚機說的.
## 海航、空軍的最小戰鬥單位是雙機分隊, 1號是長機, 2號是僚機
## 承上, 當長機有任何事情宣佈後, 僚機回答用
## 例如: (激烈空戰後)
## 長機：check in(報到！/讓我知道你死了沒！)
## 僚機：Two (2號機報到/ 我還活著...)
## Bingo是指剩下的油量只夠飛回預定的機場.
## 意思就是：你再玩我，我就回不了家了...
@kenneyc 谢谢补充。前面还有几条海军陆军飞行员调侃的，翻译也不甚准确，可能的话请帮忙看下
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good shit. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
生命中最美好的三件事：腸胃舒暢，幸^福美滿，超軟著陸。夜間航母著陸能讓你同時體會三者。
補充：
# 生命中最爽快的三件事：漂亮的降落、糕朝(...)、排便順暢。夜間航母著陸能讓你同時體會三者。
# (把飛機落到航母上、全身抽搐、一屁股翔...)
Two of the most dangerous things in the world are a South Georgia pulpwood truck, and a doctor in a split tail bonanza.
世界上最危險的兩樣東西是南佐治亞州的原木車（小心滾木...）和一個好運中斷後的醫生。（來源請求？）
# ...(前略)和一個醫生坐在富豪小飛機上, 而且這架飛機剩下前半截.
# Bonanza是種4~8人座的小飛機，曾開發非主流 V-tail (V型尾翼)，所以有些米佬不太信任..
Nothing flies without fuel,
so let's start with some coffee.
# 沒有飛機可以不靠燃料飛行，所以讓我們從喝杯咖啡開始吧.
# 其實看PilotsEye前幾分鐘就明白了，這完全是在嘲諷駕駛艙的人一定得拿杯咖啡才肯進去工作啊..
Navy carrier pilots regards Air Force pilots:
"Flare to land, squat to pee."
# 海航致空軍：
# "改平，然後落地，就像妳們蹲下尿尿一樣"
## 海航嘲諷空軍的落地一點風險都沒有、不像男人.
Navy pilots regards Air Force formation flying skills:
"Same way, same day."
# 海軍飛行員形容空軍隊形訓練：老古董。
## 空軍採用傳統編隊，僚機跟隨長機，並掩護長機後方。
## 海航採用流動隊形，接戰時長機、僚機分開作戰並且互相支援。
## 海航嘲諷空軍還跟大雁一樣只會編隊飛行、固守傳統、不知變通。
## 明顯例子可以網上找一下BlueAngle、ThunderBird比較一下。
## 空軍的雷鳥特技隊：連上飛機都有一定標準程序，而且還要像閱兵一樣標齊對正...
## 海航藍天使特技隊：相對比較隨興，反正表演是在空中，地面我怎麼舒服怎麼來...
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.
# 如果推桿，房子會變大；如果拉桿，房子會變小。
## 這其實是某飛行教練教學生的地面課程第一課, 來源忘了...不過很久了...
## 意思就是拉桿等於爬升、推桿等於下降。(沒錯，有些學生就這麼白紙... 囧)
To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder.
# 要上升就拉桿。要下降就拼命拉桿。
## 某飛行教練嘲諷學生死抓著桿子不放...
Throttle back son, you're not going to make the boat go any faster.
— Air Bosses on aircraft carriers to flight students on initial carrier qualifications who stay at maximum power after they have been jerked to a stop by the arresting gear.
# 收油門，孩子。你沒辦法讓這艘船更快了。
# —空中老闆讓新手飛行員在被攔阻索捕獲後收油門
## Air Boss / Mini Boss：煤軍海航飛行長/助理飛行長，坐在艦島最頂層的塔台上控管所有在空機。
## 海航飛行部隊前兩高階的軍官，如果艦長不算的話(一般航母艦長也是飛行員出身)。
@kenneyc 非常感谢补充和更正！
才知道flare是改平。不过不知道海军飞行员觉得他们又是怎么降落的...垂直起降？
split tail bonanza或许指的就是该机型的V形＂劈叉＂尾翼。不过还是没懂这条的笑点，是在讽刺医生高收入玩得起飞机却缺乏物理直觉？
我的理解是諷刺喜歡新技術，喜歡到不顧後果...
翻這條我猶豫好久...
猶豫的是，doctor應該不只是指醫生，也許還有指博士、律師，甚至是發明者。
V-Tail相比傳統構型需要更多控制，線傳飛控必備，這玩意兒比起傳統鋼纜貴不少
若是大型機，線傳當然比鋼纜好；但小飛機？
且尾部結構勢必要增強，畢竟原本三組接點承受的力，要改由兩組接點承受。
更別說因為更多控制引起的振動，有可能造成的結構壽命縮減...
多花了這麼多錢，得到的效果卻沒比傳統構型的Cessna好到哪去..風險高不少..
市場上的主流也從來不是這些V-Tail，這意味著維修零件、工時成本增加。
對這些飛小飛機的來說，飛機只是交通工具，跟Taxi或是私家車的差別不大。
只是油錢貴了點，高度高了點，速度快了點，可以不用繞路。
(不超過限高可以不用報航管，執行目視飛行。禁航區、機場附近除外)
多花這麼多錢買V-Tail，換來的只有高風險：斷尾
舒適姓沒高多少、速度也沒快多少、高度也高不到哪去(要高就要申請航線)
我的理解是這樣...
畢竟真要飛高、飛快、舒適，換架灣流不是更好.. XD
To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder.
# 要上升就拉桿。要下降就拼命拉桿。
## 某飛行教練嘲諷學生死抓著桿子不放...
###我觉得意思是，上升拉杆正常，往死里拉就失速了，所以下降。。。我觉得这个才是笑点。。
@usernamejim 不過不知道海軍飛行員覺得他們又是怎麼降落的...垂直起降？
空軍降落：
140 knots (大概..依照各機型有所不同，大多都是失速速度+10左右)
-2~-3 AoA
海軍降落：
250 knots (大概..依照各機型有所不同，最後階段要推油門到底，以防脫鉤)
-3~-5 AoA
海航：" 能讓肛門嘔吐的航母落地才是真男人！ "
空軍：" 海航的S*B*只會玩可控制墜毀的重落地！ "
@kenneyc 我又试着查实了一下Bonanza V尾飞机的典故。根据如下链接的所言
| 网页链接
| 网页链接
V尾飞机有"V tail doctor killer"的美称，原因的确是在飞行包线外容易发生结构失效。而且V尾飞机本来就有稳定性弱易翻滚的特点，再加上这飞机刚问世的时候仪表飞行还不太完善，所以有不少飞行员在云中把飞机飞零碎的案例。
至于Doctor指的大概还是医生。在第一篇文章中明确说道，这飞机专坑医生、律师这样年轻而有钱的人。
Cheers.
If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.
人們說"吃甚麼像甚麼"，那麼有些機師最好多吃點飼料雞/肉雞
(兩種都是我們灣灣習慣用來罵人的詞，基本上就是說這個人軟弱的意思)
(其實意思很多(主要都是在帶貶意的)，不過我覺得在對的時機用的話，也是可以用來要罵人膽小)